How will I know? . . .

I was asked yesterday, how will you know if a man is right for you if you don't "try it out" first? Then, someone else told me that no man will want to marry me if he can't "see what he's getting first." They all assume that because I choose abstinence, I am a hurt, bitter and lonely woman.

It is hard to understand my choice from a purely natural state-of-mind. You have to look at my life in the spiritual, with the assistance of The Spirit. Just as a puppy doesn't understand what you say until she has been taught and trained into understanding, we can not understand the things of God without teaching and training through His Holy Spirit.

I will know that a man is right for me without "trying it out" because I have that much faith in God. I believe that He is all-knowing and all-powerful. I believe the Psalmist who said "delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37.4) And I believe that God gave us laws not to restrict us, but to protect us from dangers unseen. Consider how few divorces there would be if we all sought God's guidance in choosing a mate. My faith tells me that every good and perfect gift from God (James 1.17) also includes His choice of my husband.

Any man that does not want to wait for me until marraige isn't a man that God has ordained for me. We wouldn't be equally yoked (2 Cor 6.14). So, I am glad that my mention of abstinence runs some men away! This then begs the question of whether I will be able to find a man that IS on the same spiritual page as me. To that I answer: IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR GOD? (Jeremiah 32.27)

Finally, it was said that I must have been hurt by a man and now have renounced them all. My response was that in my old nature I would do the opposite of what I do now: when depressed, disappointed or hurt I sought out destructive behaviors. So, instead of abstinence, I practiced promiscuity. Instead of prayer, I self-medicated. Instead of reserving, I indulged. In fact, God healed my broken heart before I ever considered abstinence. My decision was born in my renewed mind. God initially took the desire away until after my renewal. Then, the desire returned, but with a changed mind I chose obedience over lust.

Everyone understands God's position on fornication, but we have chosen to ignore it, thinking that God must understand that He is asking too much of us to give this up. This is not true. God's Word hasn't changed. Again, God gave us these laws to protect us. Consider how many broken hearts, fatal attractions, unwanted babies, struggling single mothers, AIDS cases, etc. would be avoided if we followed this one single rule. How different the world would be! God saw all of the harm that fornication would cause and asked us to avoid it. Just think how different your life would be if you avoided it.

I never thought that I could live without it, but I'll be celebrating two years of abstinence next month. It amazes me what God has done in my life, simply because I say to Him each day, "I surrender all."