You're up to something bigger than me . . .

My pastor asked us to make a list of things that we do, say, think, etc. that hinder our relationship with God. We are to take these things to Him, surrendering them to God and giving Him complete control over them. It was easy for me to create the list. I am just amazed at how hard it is to surrender them. I have been wrestling with God about the things I want to stop doing and things I want to start doing. Now, many people would say that I need to get some willpower. I don't think that's it at all. What I need is to break my will's power. Doing something over and over that I know I shouldn't is me choosing over and over again to do it - my will's power to make me do it. So, willpower isn't what I need; power over my will is. Paul tells us in Romans 7 that it is our sinful nature that causes us to sin, i.e. our will. We were born into sin, are slaves to sin and this sin yet lives in us. 20. But if I am doing what I don't want to do, I am not really the one doing it; the sin within me is doing it. 25. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin (NLT). Sounds rather bleak and hopeless. At first thought, this is a no-win situation. 23. But there is [sin's] law at work within me that is at war with my mind. This law wins the fight and makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me (NLT). God knew sin's power over us and decided the only way for us to conquer it was through our Saviour. And this is the reason Christ died for us. 7. ...for we died with Christ, and we are no longer captive to [sin's] power. Now we can really serve God ... by the Spirit (NLT). If Christ hadn't died, He couldn't have sent His Spirit, The Comforter, to dwell within us. And without the Spirit, I can not break sin's alluring hold on me. So, once I have identified my hindrances, I must immediately surrender them to God. How? By continually asking God for help in "dying daily" to my sinful nature. By consistently seeking the Spirit and inviting Him to dwell in me. By patiently enduring the chaos created by sin's struggle for control over me, understanding that the chaos I feel is meant to strengthen and prepare me for what God has next. And by continuing to wrestle with God until He blesses me.
Whatever you're doing inside of me
it feels like chaos, but I believe
You're up to someting bigger than me,
larger than life - something Heavenly!
-Sanctus Real