Lord, Help My Unbelief . . .

In my last blog, I introduced my new struggle: unbelief. The most important thing that God has taught me is that I can not change myself nor will the change occur immediately. I never understood this ideal before and so, in the past when I would stumble and fall, I never even bothered getting up. Now, I am redeemed and have a good understanding of how the Christian walk will go. When I pray for God to search me and remove what hinders my walk with Him (Psalm 139:23-34), He shows me a fault and guides me on how to correct it. Each new "search and rescue mission" is ordered to prune the most pressing issue that separates me from Him. Once that dead limb is gone, I am one step closer and the way is a little clearer. His devine design for shaping me is ordered in a way that ensures growth and prepares me for the next phase of my Christian life. So, now it's time for me to deal with true belief. Even though believing is the first step of salvation (Acts 16: 30 - 31), continued belief and a deep understanding of belief is needed to make it to the finish. Merriam-Webster defines belief as a state or habit of the mind. This definition makes it plain: state and habit both denote that belief is constant and continued. Belief and its synonym faith both imply an assent, or a moving toward something usually after careful thought and consideration. In essence, belief is the eventual forming of a habit of having confidence in someone or something. So, belief in God is the eventual forming of a habit of having confidence in Him after careful thought and consideration. This can only occur with meditation on His Word (careful thought) and acts of obedience to God in return for His acts of kindness toward me (the definition of consideration). In summation, belief is a spiritual muscle that must be exercised in order to be strengthened. Without a strong belief a Christian is doomed to fall. With this, it's no surprise to me that my belief is weak and I now know that this is how God wants it to be so that I will continue to meditate on His word and pray. So, being an unbelieving believer is not an oxymoron. Rather, it's a state I need to be in order to reach my devinely purposed place in His Kingdom. God has plans for me and until I am in place, He can't move. Therefore, I revel in my unbelief so that God can grow me out of it and closer to Him.